Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. To seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone who is perceived as vulnerable. It’s behavior that hurts, harms, or humiliates a person, either physically or emotionally.  Sometimes the bully doesn’t even realize their actions are a form of bullying.

The first bullies in my life were my parents.  I was ALWAYS messing up ( bad grades, my room etc.) so I was ALWAYS in trouble for something.  I could never do anything right.   The next bullies were a few classmates and teachers.  Next was my abusive ex-husband. Over the years it has been many church leaders.  And finally, some family members.

I read a story this morning of yet another child who was bullied and laid across railroad tracks and was killed by a train.  My heart broke and I cried a little.  I thought of how I really understood how that kid felt.

I thought of all the bullying that I have and am presently going though and what it has done to me.  Bullying has been painful for me, but is a part of who I am.  I looked at who I am, and I thought of what all this bullying has done to me.  I feel I’m different from other people and that has made me a target, but it has also made me a better person.  I’m very aware of other people’s feelings and care about others a lot.  I live to make other peoples lives more pleasant.  I try to encourage other people who are down.  I’m a soloist and the songs I sing are to encourage others and I sing them with great intensity.

Bullying has truly changed me as a person.  I’m always fighting the awful effects of what was done to me by other people’s words and actions.  Everything that has ever been done to me is lumped together into one big basket and at times that basket presses down on top of my head. When I feel that weight of all that negativity, I push the basket off of me.  This basket can appear on me if I’m sick, tired or have just been freshly bullied. Unfortunately, it’s a plague that I will be fighting off until the day I die.

 I’m very aware of these attacks now and I can get rid of them whenever they occur by doing this: James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  I now know my self-worth because of my Christian faith and because I know what I need to do to get in a better place mentally. In the bible it says this about my life:  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well Psalms 139:14.

 Life experiences has been a good teacher for me in how I have gotten through past bullying situations.  I also have a wonderful husband who has been a great support for me as well as a great counselor who has helped me over the years when I needed her.

Beginning at age 12 years old, bullying almost made me take my own life.  I’m grateful for a miracle from God that I was healed from suicide attempts and depression caused by bullying over 36 years ago. No one should have to live their life being attacked by bullies. It’s a fact of life that bulling has been going on since the beginning of mankind and will always be here. Bullies are perpetrators of mental violence on innocent people who are never looking for any kind confrontation from anyone.  Evil hearted people are going to be who they naturally are.

This is what the bible explains as to their behavior.

John 8:44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

1John 3:10 By this the children of God are distinguished from the children of the devil: Anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is anyone who does not love his brother.

(When Christians bully it’s called….”sin” because of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)

Victims of bullying must learn how to internally and mentally respond to bullying so that it doesn’t destroy them from the inside. We must learn how to protect ourselves from the toxic people. This is our responsibility to do this for ourselves. We should never hate bullies.  We should practice forgiveness for our benefit and healing.  God wants us to pray for those who do this to us because He is the one who deals with evil behavior and His justice is very tough.  They will need our prayers. 

I have taken my cue about being bullied from Jesus who was bullied, beat up and killed.: Luke 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

These are some great quotes that I found on line that I felt were very good on this subject:

The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.”

There is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid!

Project confidence. Self-confidence is your best weapon against a hater. Laugh off insults, drop witty comebacks, and stay positive. If you don’t let your confidence slip, a hater is more likely to get frustrated simply start leaving you alone.

For example, if someone insults your art, take the high road. Try saying: “I’m sorry you feel that way. 

If someone calls you “weird,” you could say: “Maybe a little, but I like who I am!!!

When you are walking by someone who hates you, don’t look down or lean the other way. That kind of posture tells the hater that you’re afraid, that you’re giving the hater what he or she wants. Instead, stand up tall with your head held high.

Don’t be rash. Haters feed on your emotions. If you respond quickly and emotionally, there’s a good chance that you won’t be able to make a strong point. If you lash out, you will only give them more reason to make fun of you. Do not let your words be clouded by anger and frustration. Give yourself the time to cool down before you respond.

Odds are that on some level, they are uncomfortable with their own identities. Some people even act hatefully because they are jealous,

Don’t let other people’s opinions rent space in your head. You have better things to think about and more positive things you could be focusing on.

Don’t care. Think: are these people going to be in your life forever? Probably not. Surround yourself with those who make you happy!

Try to avoid them as much as possible.

Instead of worrying about the hater and letting it ruin your life, try to think about things that make you happy instead. Yes… one cannot get anything by worrying, but put your worrying act into a positive thinking and achieve a great rest…

Advertisements