Why does God love you?

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Meditate often in how much God loves you! You’ll get strengthened.

God Speaks I Listen


1 John 4:9-10 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.god-loves-you-2

Why should the most powerful, majestic and holy being in the entire universe love us lowly, sinful, little rugrats? (Rugrat is a small child who is learning to get around by crawling and eventually walking on their own. They are very short on social skills and are trying to grow and develop. They are rude, whinny and very temperamental and sometimes straight up bad. With time and good training they can mature and become a great asset to society.) I hope you’re not insulted that I called us rugrats but we are like young children to God and…

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The spirit world is real!

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We should be alert, prayerful and wise.

God Speaks I Listen

Last week I felt that the Lord wanted me to share with you about spiritual warfare. This past Sunday in church my pastor spoke about spiritual warfare and he even used the same scripture I‘m going to use.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

I posted a video on You Tube called…God is real, my testimony.  ( I went to other people’s post to post my video on their page. Many of the videos I tried to post on were atheist post. I listened to many of them as they told their testimonies on why God is not real. Some of them were very convincing. After doing this everyday last week….I felt the deceiving spirits trying to convince me…

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“I’m feeling a great sense of urgency in my spirit about things right now. I feel things are very serious.  I feel God has spoken to us in His word and unusual things are happening intensely and the church needs to already be ready. The church… meaning you and me who say we’re Christians should be very active in God’s service. The Holy Spirit of God is speaking and those who have spiritual ears I pray can hear what “The Spirit of God” is saying. Lives depend on our obedience and God is watching to see who are truly His worshipers and truly His followers. This is so serious right now.

I just can’t explain it like I feel it. It’s beyond any words. It’s what I know in my heart and mind. My spirit man is telling me don’t play around with this, but to dig in and press forward because this is it! The very last days!!! All hell has broke loose and satan has found major strongholds over weak minded and immoral people. He’s eating people up like pac-man! Gobbling up peoples souls! If it ain’t well with your soul…you betta’ WATCHOUT!”

I said to myself…well satan has always been bad so what’s the difference?  The answer is that people have lost their morals and have opened up their souls to allow satan to touch their minds with massive impurity.  Many are losing touch with reality and this is driving many to insanity.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

This is it people! The very last days! All that’s been going on in this world these days has been predicted in the bible. I don’t want to be a Debbie downer here but things are bad and they will get worse. Lately I’ve been seeing some news reports about people doing some of the most heinous and evil acts. I can’t even describe not one of them here because they are just that bad. If a person does not have any Jesus in them then they are full game for the devil to take them completely over.

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What’s more shocking is a report by Pastor Chris Sonksen who did a story for Fox News: “Only 39 percent of active believers consider the Bible as the literal word of God. Less than 20 percent of professing believers follow the biblical principle of giving. Only 5 percent have shared their faith with a non-believer. More than half of all church members attend church once a month or less.”

I just wanted to cry when I read these statistics! I’ve been wondering why Christians have been silent when many of our laws have been changed concerning issue’s that go against Gods laws.
To put it very simply…this country needs Jesus…the world needs Jesus. But not only to know about Him, not only to go to a church…but to know Him intimately!!!! There is a big difference in knowing God in a deep and personal way than casual Christianity! Knowing Jesus intimately gives one, boldness, strength, obedience, love and so much more. If our spiritual lights were shining brightly people could see Jesus and be led to follow Him.
Since the bible predicts that things will get worse… should we just throw up our hands and say …”Oh Well?” That’s the way things are these days! There are still people today who will accept Jesus as their Savior. We need to repent if we have been the 95% of people who don’t share their faith with others. We need to work on being intimately involved with Jesus Christ. We need to obey the word of God…the bible. We need to love our neighbor and lastly we need to love God like crazy!
This is it people…the end times. Matthew 3:2 and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” Believe in Jesus…serve Jesus…obey Jesus…build His Kingdom. This is what God wants us to do! Fear not! Put your hope in God!
Many people are committing suicide these days. Yes… mental illness is real but so is spiritual warfare. The devil wants you to do him a favor and kill yourself. He’s slick and subtle! This is an old trick that he is now convincing masses of people to do all day… every single day of the year. The devil is truly preying on people who are not in a relationship with Jesus. People need us to shine a light so they can find Jesus Christ.
This is it people. This is real. Let’s not play around in these evil and very dangerous times. Let’s be alert at all times and take our commitment to Jesus Christ very very very seriously! This is real people! This is real!


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Happy Father’s Day God

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Happy Fathers day Father God! The best dad in and out of this world!

God Speaks I Listen


Dear Father God,

You mean more to me than I can express in words. I’m so glad that You decided to create me and give me life. You knew that I would be born a little less than perfect and that I would be born in disgusting sin so you made a way for my soul to be washed cleaned. When I was at my deepest and darkest sadness and so afflicted in my mind, you healed me so that I could think straight and not try to give back the gift of life that you gave me.

Father God…many have thought that I’m strange and many people have not liked me but you have always accepted me for me. I can’t tell you how much that has meant to me every single day. When I lost friends because I was chronically ill you enabled me to really understand that…

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SUICIDE Attempts By 12





What does it feel like to be 12 years old and want to die?

I know about this because it happened to me. The other day I read about an 10 year old boy who committed suicide. In his state of Ohio in 2017 one hundred and eleven people younger than 18 had killed themselves. I tried to think back and remember what I was feeling at that time. Bullying, parent problems and poor grades were the main reasons for my sadness. I can see now that there was some kid depression there also. I say kid depression because I think it presents different in kids than adults.
There was a hole in my heart were my soul, heart and life was leaking out of me. I felt that I was ALL ALONE with no one to talk to and no one who cared. As a child you don’t have the skills and knowledge in how to help yourself.
The night I tried to kill myself at 12 I was crying really hard. My heart was hurting and I was so sad. I was alone in my room. I keep hearing in my mind that I was a mistake to be alive and NOBODY loved me. I wanted the heart pain to stop. So I took and bunch of my prescription allergy pills. After I took a bunch of them I was scared and crying so I went downstairs to my parent’s room. I went back to my room and cried. I cried myself to sleep. The next morning when I woke up I was so angry that I was still alive.
How did I know about taking my own life at 12 years old? I never had any experience with it at all. Never knew anyone who had committed suicide but yet I knew I wanted to do that to myself. Other people would not have known how I was feeling deep inside. There were no obvious clues to my teachers, my neighbors or church. I only knew I needed an outlet for my pain and grief. The grief was from rejection. Rejection was very overwhelming to me. It hurt sooo bad. I internalized it.


Not only does bullying cause internal pain to the victim but it also causes fear and terror to torment them as well. It’s so destructive to a child or an adult. I have to add adult because as an adult I’m still getting bullied. And what also happens is that all the bullying that was ever done to me gets clumped together sometimes in my mind and I have to then deal with it all over again. As an adult I know what I have to do to shake the pain it causes, but as a kid you don’t have those skills so the pain just stays in your heart.
People are shocked and extremely pained when a child commits suicide. So the question is what can be done? I think some kids may cry out for help but most don’t so people around them have to look for clues. Even then it could be extremely hard to tell. Nobody really know what someone is feeling in their heart. There are parents who are tuned in with their kids and other parent just might not be able to discern their kid’s inner feelings. No one should feel guilty about other another person’s deep internal sorrow because people can really hide emotions.


Recently some kids who are hurting want to hurt others. (School shootings) This is a disturbing trend. I feel much of it is bought on by hurt feelings and depression. They internalize it like I did. They want to be violent with their pain and strike out at others so they justify their acts with their inner pain. So we need to figure out a way to reach children who are hurting emotionally.
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As for me….I’m so glad that I wasn’t successful. I have a wonderful husband, 6 great children and one granddaughter. God had plans for my life. I’ve shared my story of my road back from suicide and depression with sooo many people. Hopefully my story can save another’s life.  Psalms 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

After I finished writing this blog a few days ago the fashion designer Kate Spade committed suicide. Depression can be a killer disorder. Mental illness is a horrible and deadly disease. Let’s all pray for those who are afflicted with mental illness.


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Thinking About Our USA Military Men and Women… Our Brave soldiers

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Thank God for all those who have served and are serving our country.

God Speaks I Listen

2 Chronicles 32:8 With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.

Dearest United States Military,

I think about you all the time and pray for you. I also think about all our veterans who have already served. My dad who is 85 years old is a Navy veteran and He has been telling me His war stories and I’ve learned that it’s not easy going to war but that you do it for our country and for our freedom and the freedom of others.

Being a soldier takes training skill and facing many challenging circumstances.  Boot camp alone is the first big challenge.  I’ve seen many of my son’s friends go off to boot camp and they me tell how hard it is….but…

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The Holy Spirit and the Cross?

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holy spirit cross


When we reflect on Resurrection day or celebrate communion we think of God sending His only Son to die on the cross…but the Holy Spirit the third person of the trinity was present throughout Jesus time on earth and He was especially at the crucifixion. 
The power of the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, the holy Spirit was there when Jesus was baptized, the Holy spirit led Jesus into the wilderness, Jesus was anointed by the Holy Spirit to do miracles sign and wonders, the work of Christ on the cross was through the eternal Spirit. The Holy Spirit was involved in Jesus earthly life from beginning to the end. If Jesus needed the Holy Spirit throughout His life…so do we.
All 3 persons of God are so unique in our lives but they are uniquely one. Our God is like no other!! Boy am I glad I’m His child!!! I have an incredible Father!!!

Hebrew 9:14 How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!





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