How to trust God even though you’re very mad at Him


Sometimes I think I almost push God to this point….But I know my foolishness doesn’t affect Him that way. God is patient, kind and understanding.

If God was here on earth in the midst of a very difficult trial in my life I would shake His shoulders, jump up and down and just start screaming to the top of my lungs until He would have to slap me silly.

Bed beating with a broom…doesn’t really help!

I have done something this….let me share my crazy testimony.  In 2002 I had been suffering with an illness for about 3 years that was undiagnosed at the time and I was having horrible debilitating stroke-like episodes.  I was at my wit’s end because things were getting worse and I was waiting to be healed…like yesterday!   One day I just exploded in prayer to God.  I was trying to sweep my little daughters room and I was so tired that I could barely sweep.

I was so upset about the illness I suffered with that I started crying really hard.  I was so angry at God in that moment… I took the broom and just started beating my daughter’s bed with it until I had no more strength left in my body. (I was home alone thank God…my family would have thought I’ve gone off the deep end for sure!)  As I was beating the bed I told God that I couldn’t take it anymore.  I said to Him….how can you let this keep happening to me?  What did I do to deserve this?  I obey and serve you!  Why aren’t you helping me?  Can’t you see how hurt I am?  I cried so hard that my eyes were so swollen and painful.

After all this ranting…I laid on my daughter’s bed and fell asleep.  I couldn’t believe I was still in one piece when I woke up and that God didn’t knock my fool head off for yelling at Him like that.  I believe that while I was asleep…God ministered to my spirit.  He has done this many times before when I have been very troubled and I prayed and then fell asleep.  I know that He ministers to me in my sleep because when I wake up I feel….different.  I feel that God’s grace has worked in me and healed my emotional state.  Sometimes God has to work on you when you’re asleep because your spirit is in a quiet state.  Our mind never shuts down and is active even though we’re asleep.

I share this story with you because I want you to know that God understands our…FRUSTATIONS.  He knows us very well…He created us with emotions and He knows that we don’t understand His ways which can bring on frustration and grief.  This is something that can happen from time to time under a very distressing trial.  There is a really big cure for this kind of frustration and that is……..


It’s the only way to get complete rest for your soul in a situation like this.  If God doesn’t give you one of His inner healings…if God doesn’t take that heavy yoke (burden) from you…you will break under the pressure. You might resort to something else to compensate for the stress such as overeating, shopping, drinking, drugs or it can turn into depression, anxiety, panic attacks or you may take your anger out on someone. You could even backslide…turn away from your walk with the Lord.   It can lead to high blood pressure and all kind of illnesses.  Our body and mind can only take but so much.

Some people can handle a great deal of stress and some people can handle very little.  The best thing is to find the right help in the midst of what you’re going through.

I have two scriptures that are my first point of meditation about my situation when I’m going through a very difficult time and they are:

1.)   1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (NIV)

                   Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (NLT)

2.)    Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

After you read these two scriptures (and there are many more scriptures in the bible, but seek God’s word and let Him speak to you through it) then put your mind on God, trust and wait on Him.  I tell you help and rest will come.  There are many ways God can minister to you in your time of need…even if you’ve been angry with Him.

The more heavy trials you go through (like me) the more you figure out how to seek out this kind of support from God when you are going through difficulty.  God has revived me and encouraged me many times and I KNOW he will be there for me…ALWAYS!

God won’t knock us out for talking to Him angrily or get mad at us for blaming Him…He understands human pain. Jesus cried out to God before He was to be crucified and while he was being crucified. God is not trying to see if He can break us…He has a reason for allowing us to go through these things.  Some reasons are testing’s which teach us patience and perseverance.   Some trials are to bring God glory and some trials we will never know or understand in our lifetime.  We need to have a plan so when the very difficult times come…we will know where to turn to and get the help we need to sustain us during that time

We have two choices…we can do things our way or accept the offer of Jesus Christ who tells us in His word to put our burdens on Him.  Personally I choose Jesus.  In my early years as a Christian I carried my burdens around a long while before I finally gave them over to Him.  But now after over 20 years of walking with the Lord I give them over to Him almost right way.  I’m still human and can worry  for a hot minute before casting my burdens on the Lord…but then the truth of God word rises up in me and I say…what am I doing and I give that thing right over to the Lord.

I feel in my heart today that there are some people who needed to hear my testimony today.  I put myself out there not to be a blog diva… but to let you see my tall goings and my short comings.  I’ve had highs in the Lord and I’ve had lows in the Lord.  I’m still singing God’s praises and will continue to do so no matter what I go through because I know what God has in store for me for my future.

I’m going to say a prayer for you right now:

Heavenly Father,

I know there are people out there really going through some very difficult times and some even feel like giving up.  Lord I ask you to please strengthen their heart and give them reminders from your word of the help you promise to give us during extremely difficult times.  Please look past their anger and fear and help them get to a better place in you.  Lord forgive them for their doubt in your ability help them.  Bless every person who has found their way to this blog today and has this need in their life.  Lord…heal hearts and minds today and give them peace.  I ask this in Jesus name…Amen.

Message for today:  Job 2:9, 10  His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

I Believe In Miracles..A True Story Part Two


1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

There were so many victories in my son Noah’s life, but I just want to tell you about 2 of them today.

When Noah was about 6 years old he still could not ride a two-wheel bike because of his disability so he had one with training wheels. Training wheels were meant for small children so he looked odd to other kids in the neighborhood and some made fun of him. His brother Joshua always defended his little brother though. Noah starting asking to have his training wheels removed and I explained to him that he had a disability and it was unsafe for him to ride a bike without the training wheels.

But Noah kept asking me over and over again for many weeks until one day I gave in. I told him his brother could take the training wheels off but he could only ride the bike in the back yard on the grass with the helmet of course. Well weeks went by and that boy was out there every day trying to ride that bike! I could see him out of my kitchen window riding and falling over and over again and sometimes he would lay on the ground for a minute gather himself up and he would get right back up on that bike. Of course I would be praying he didn’t hurt himself.

Then one day while I was in the kitchen I heard him scream really loud and I was scared out of my wits. I dropped what I was doing and ran to the back door just to see Noah riding that bike with a big kool aid smile on his face!!!I stood in that doorway with tears pouring down my face to see such a miracle. My eyes are welling up with tears right now as I get very emotional when I tell this story. Even after 19 years since this happen… I tremble at the power of God and what He has done for me and my son Noah. All praises belongs to God! Halleluiah!!!! Glory to His name!!!

The next story I want to share with you is about his moving up day. This was a graduation to Junior high school award ceremony. Even though Noah had gotten his braces off he still had somewhat of an off gait and you could tell by his walk that he had cerebral palsy, but he could still walk very good despite this thanks to so much early intervention and the healing power of God. No wheel chair, no braces and no assistance needed. When the music started and all the children marched in… my son was right there in that line and his father and I were so happy to see this miracle walk past us.
There were many awards of achievement for academic excellence in many subjects Noah received that day but when it came to the gym award we knew he wasn’t getting that one. The two awards for gym were given out and the gym teacher said he usually only gives out two awards but this year he said…I have a very special award for a special person. He said…this kid is my hero because I’ve never seen him give up.

[Side note – At field day every year Noah would always participate and do the race and all the kids would pass Noah and finish the race and the whole school would be chanting “Noah,Noah” until he got to the finish line no matter how long it took him.]

The gym teacher ( a man) was crying…the principal, teachers, my husband and I were all crying. I was crying so bad I couldn’t even operate my video camera and other parent around us were patting my husband and I on our backs to console us.

The teacher called my son up to get his award and the whole place just erupted in loud cheering and clapping. What and awesome day of seeing the power of Gods miracle in my son’s life!!!! Oh my Lord…God is so good!!! Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! His mercies never fail! Trust in the Lord all His people…trust in the Lord!!!

Today Noah has a good job and is living on His own. He is a blessing to everyone he comes in contact with and is so loving and kind. He loves the Lord and gives all the praise to the Lord for what He has done in His life.

This is my son Noah today...God's miracle! God gets all the Glory from this testimony!

If any of you reading this story today are going through any kind of situation in your life…I can tell you for a fact that God can and does answer prayer. I know this for 2 reasons….God promises that He will be there for us in His Holy Word the Bible and I know this because He has answered my prayers when I needed Him to heal my son as well as my other 5 other children who all had medical issues.

Oh Most Powerful and Awesome Father God,

I come before you today with so much love… and a thankful heart. Your care and concern for me blows me away! Your power to heal fills me with so much awe! Your abilities amaze me! I’m many times speechless when I see your supernatural intervention in action. I’m so glad you are my Father and I’m so grateful for your Son Jesus and for the awesome power of your Holy Spirit.
Lord…there are so many people who will read this blog and are going through things in their lives that need your help. Father…I ask you to please bless them. Those that need healing…Please heal. Those that need help with their children…please help….Those that need jobs….please provide employment and all the other needs to numerous to mention…but I know you know what they need.
Lord…I thank you for all the blessings and answered prayers that will come from people reading this story today and becoming so encouraged in their own faith in you…that they will receive from you the miracle in their life they need. I ask this in Jesus name….Amen.

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Message for today: Put your hope and faith in God because He indeed cares for you!

I Believe In Miracles..A True Story..Part One


My Miracle Son Noah…His Story

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Today I’m going to share with you an incredible miracle God did for me. For many years I could not tell this story without crying. My son Noah has cerebral palsy and here’s his story.

In 1986 I was pregnant with my 5th child and quite surprised. I had gone to my doctor because I thought I had the flu…but it was a flu called Noah. The next many months would be trying for me because all my 4 previous births were difficult, with 3 of the pregnancies ending in premature births. Things got very harrowing the last 3 days before he was born. I was hospitalized for a week before the delivery and I believe the hospital made many mistakes while I was there. They had to use the forceps on me and I knew this was dangerous for Noah and I was right. Noah weighted 3lbs and seemed to be in good condition. He had a sonogram of his brain and it was normal…or so I was led to believe.

He stayed in the hospital for about 2 months. I bought him home and thought everything was good. I had 3 previous preemies and they were Ok for the most part so I thought he would be too…but I was very wrong. He was not making any of the milestones of infant development. He wasn’t holding his head up, sitting up, moving his legs, still looking like a newborn and he was 9 month old so I took Him back to the hospitals clinic where he was born. The doctor looked at his medical records from the time he was in the neonatal and told me …oh I see he had a massive brain hemorrhage. I was shocked because the hospital never told me this. The doctor then ordered a CT scan of my son’s brain.

I went back to the hospital for the test results. The doctor looked at the CT scan and shook her head. She showed me a big area of brain damage on the film and said the damage was in the speech and motor development and my son probably will never walk or talk. I sat there shocked and my heart-felt like it dropped to the floor. What horrible news!

I was angry that the hospital didn’t tell me about the brain damage so I hired a lawyer and proceeded to begin procedures to sue the hospital. In the meantime I had taken my son to his pediatrician for his check up and she explain more in detail about the brain damage and she too confirmed he would probably not walk or talk. She left the room for a few minutes and during that time God spoke to me. He told me He would heal my son and to drop the lawsuit. He said I had two choices. I can sue and get the money or I can trust Him and have a son who would be Ok and be able to work and take care of himself. I chose to….trust God for a healing! I had faith in God’s ability to take care of Noah.

It was a long process of healing and there were some hard times but also many victories. I’m going to tell you about a few of the victories in tomorrow’s blog because I think it will really encourage someone…so check back tomorrow for part two.

Noah’s long journey of healing started out with home therapies, such as PT, OT and other training for me and for him. It was a very difficult time because physical therapy was painful for him…and for me to watch him go through it. Then when he was two years old they took him to their school for handicap children and everyday he screamed when they took him on that bus. It was heartbreaking but I knew God had plans for my sons healing and He was working something out and I needed to trust what He told me.

Noah had to wear braces on his legs and a helmet on his head to protect him from injuries. He was sick all the time with many bouts of bronchitis and other things.

Sitting up, Walking, and talking were all much delayed but He conquered each challenge eventually. When Noah was 4 years old he got kicked out of the handicap school…they said he was very smart and could go to public school and the miracles continued to come. Regular school was a challenge….he had a personal aid to help him and got all his services in school. Noah got all A’s and B’s and won the hearts of all his teachers and classmates.

One day when he was about 8 years old the doctor told me it was time for me to take off of his leg braces.  I thought the doctor was crazy and argued with him about it.   The doctor said if we left them on any longer the muscles would not develop. It was very difficult  at first because He fell a lot and had several injuries. But eventually His legs did get stronger as the doctor said they would.

All throughout his school  years… Noah got many awards for academic achievements. Noah went on to graduate from high school and college.

Noah gave the commencement speech at his college graduation.  This was a great feat for a kid who doctors said would never speak!

For a baby who doctors said would never walk or talk….Well let’s just say…when the doctors said no…Jesus said yes! Every time I look at my son…I remember the miracle…because I see the miracle. I looked at that CAT scan myself…I know what I saw…a very damaged brain. I know God preformed a miracle.

I’m going to continue Noah’s story tomorrow. There are some really special things I want to share with you about what God did for my son.

Do you have a need in your life today?….Do you need a miracle?….Remember my story today…let it build your faith. Let it encourage you to know that God cares about what concerns us. God is concerned about me…He’s concerned about you.
Please remember this scripture verse:

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Message For Today: God can give you a miracle.

Special Message for someone


Psalms 18:6 In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

This morning I hear someone crying out to the Lord in such distress.  I feel someones heart is so heavy you can barely function.  The good part if there is a good part in this….is that you are crying out to the Lord.  My heart is heavy knowing that you are hurting so…but I know how to pray and I have prayed for you today and I know you are crying out to the Lord….so we will wait on the Lord to answer your prayers.  One prayer has been answered and that is God gives comfort to those who are suffering so accept His grace and mercy now.  Jesus will carry your burdens Himself so give your problems to Him and be at peace today.

Look up 1 Peter 5:7

God bless you!  Look at my video from yesterdays blog and Look through my blog archives for more encouragement.  Keep your hope in God alone.  Hold on tight to Jesus….He cares for you so!  You are going to be OK and you will get the victory.  Throw your hands up and thank God now….show Him that you trust Him….I know you do.  Your prayers have surely reached God’s ears today!!!!!

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