Sometimes I think I almost push God to this point….But I know my foolishness doesn’t affect Him that way. God is patient, kind and understanding.

If God was here on earth in the midst of a very difficult trial in my life I would shake His shoulders, jump up and down and just start screaming to the top of my lungs until He would have to slap me silly.

Bed beating with a broom…doesn’t really help!

I have done something this….let me share my crazy testimony.  In 2002 I had been suffering with an illness for about 3 years that was undiagnosed at the time and I was having horrible debilitating stroke-like episodes.  I was at my wit’s end because things were getting worse and I was waiting to be healed…like yesterday!   One day I just exploded in prayer to God.  I was trying to sweep my little daughters room and I was so tired that I could barely sweep.

I was so upset about the illness I suffered with that I started crying really hard.  I was so angry at God in that moment… I took the broom and just started beating my daughter’s bed with it until I had no more strength left in my body. (I was home alone thank God…my family would have thought I’ve gone off the deep end for sure!)  As I was beating the bed I told God that I couldn’t take it anymore.  I said to Him….how can you let this keep happening to me?  What did I do to deserve this?  I obey and serve you!  Why aren’t you helping me?  Can’t you see how hurt I am?  I cried so hard that my eyes were so swollen and painful.

After all this ranting…I laid on my daughter’s bed and fell asleep.  I couldn’t believe I was still in one piece when I woke up and that God didn’t knock my fool head off for yelling at Him like that.  I believe that while I was asleep…God ministered to my spirit.  He has done this many times before when I have been very troubled and I prayed and then fell asleep.  I know that He ministers to me in my sleep because when I wake up I feel….different.  I feel that God’s grace has worked in me and healed my emotional state.  Sometimes God has to work on you when you’re asleep because your spirit is in a quiet state.  Our mind never shuts down and is active even though we’re asleep.

I share this story with you because I want you to know that God understands our…FRUSTATIONS.  He knows us very well…He created us with emotions and He knows that we don’t understand His ways which can bring on frustration and grief.  This is something that can happen from time to time under a very distressing trial.  There is a really big cure for this kind of frustration and that is……..


It’s the only way to get complete rest for your soul in a situation like this.  If God doesn’t give you one of His inner healings…if God doesn’t take that heavy yoke (burden) from you…you will break under the pressure. You might resort to something else to compensate for the stress such as overeating, shopping, drinking, drugs or it can turn into depression, anxiety, panic attacks or you may take your anger out on someone. You could even backslide…turn away from your walk with the Lord.   It can lead to high blood pressure and all kind of illnesses.  Our body and mind can only take but so much.

Some people can handle a great deal of stress and some people can handle very little.  The best thing is to find the right help in the midst of what you’re going through.

I have two scriptures that are my first point of meditation about my situation when I’m going through a very difficult time and they are:

1.)   1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (NIV)

                   Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (NLT)

2.)    Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

After you read these two scriptures (and there are many more scriptures in the bible, but seek God’s word and let Him speak to you through it) then put your mind on God, trust and wait on Him.  I tell you help and rest will come.  There are many ways God can minister to you in your time of need…even if you’ve been angry with Him.

The more heavy trials you go through (like me) the more you figure out how to seek out this kind of support from God when you are going through difficulty.  God has revived me and encouraged me many times and I KNOW he will be there for me…ALWAYS!

God won’t knock us out for talking to Him angrily or get mad at us for blaming Him…He understands human pain. Jesus cried out to God before He was to be crucified and while he was being crucified. God is not trying to see if He can break us…He has a reason for allowing us to go through these things.  Some reasons are testing’s which teach us patience and perseverance.   Some trials are to bring God glory and some trials we will never know or understand in our lifetime.  We need to have a plan so when the very difficult times come…we will know where to turn to and get the help we need to sustain us during that time

We have two choices…we can do things our way or accept the offer of Jesus Christ who tells us in His word to put our burdens on Him.  Personally I choose Jesus.  In my early years as a Christian I carried my burdens around a long while before I finally gave them over to Him.  But now after over 20 years of walking with the Lord I give them over to Him almost right way.  I’m still human and can worry  for a hot minute before casting my burdens on the Lord…but then the truth of God word rises up in me and I say…what am I doing and I give that thing right over to the Lord.

I feel in my heart today that there are some people who needed to hear my testimony today.  I put myself out there not to be a blog diva… but to let you see my tall goings and my short comings.  I’ve had highs in the Lord and I’ve had lows in the Lord.  I’m still singing God’s praises and will continue to do so no matter what I go through because I know what God has in store for me for my future.

I’m going to say a prayer for you right now:

Heavenly Father,

I know there are people out there really going through some very difficult times and some even feel like giving up.  Lord I ask you to please strengthen their heart and give them reminders from your word of the help you promise to give us during extremely difficult times.  Please look past their anger and fear and help them get to a better place in you.  Lord forgive them for their doubt in your ability help them.  Bless every person who has found their way to this blog today and has this need in their life.  Lord…heal hearts and minds today and give them peace.  I ask this in Jesus name…Amen.

Message for today:  Job 2:9, 10  His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28