When I die…..


when i die


I’m in my prayer closet….well just coming out of it and most of my prayer time has been just telling God how incredible He is and how much I want to be with Him. 1% of me wants to be here on earth when I’m in my prayer closet and 99% wants to be with God. When I’m not in my prayer closet it’s more like 25% wants to be here and 75% want to be with God.

When I’m in my prayer closet…I’m barely here on earth emotionally and spiritually. It’s that intense. Why and what happens? LOVE!! The love of God and the communication we have at that time is overpowering to me. I seek Him and He’s there!

God the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are EVERYTHING to me! I’m truly thankful for the earthly relationships He has given me (husband, children, family and friends) but God and His love for me is so overwhelming in my life that it makes me long for heaven. I love God with every cell in my body. I love Him with every emotion I have and everything in my brain. There are no words to describe how much God loves me and how much I love Him. (God loves us ALL like that! Just seek Him and you will find Him.)

Celebrate eternal life!  Thank you Jesus!

Celebrate eternal life! Thank you Jesus!

So when I die….when my physical body is alive no more….I want my family and friends to really celebrate my HOMEGOING! No flowers…just balloons…No sad songs…just Songs of Gods praise and Joy. I want scriptures of hope and promise. I want testimonies on the victories I’ve had in my life. I want hope of an eternal future for all who call out to Jesus for forgiveness. I want to be with my Father in Heaven and I want all those I love to be with me there one day also.

You may think to yourself….”this is a strange blog from Tanya today”. But I tell you this….I can’t help it and don’t want to help it because I can’t wait to see the Love of my life. I dream about seeing the face of my God. I can feel His presence when I’m deep in my prayer close and it just makes me want to run into His loving arms. He thought of me in His mind and then He created me. He gave me life. He befriended me. He established a personal relationship with me. He put a part of Himself in me and this unbelievable being lives inside of me and His name is….Holy Spirit. I depend on Him for everything in every area of my life. He NEVER leaves my side!!!!! He reveals the secret things of God to me. I’m overwhelmed at all God has done to make Himself real to me and He keeps in communication with me 24/7.

The thing that touches me the most out of all of this is the amount of love He has for me!! I can’t get enough of it!

So when I die….be happy for me….I won’t be thinking about you at all…LOL! Because….I will be in my Father’s arms!!!!!!!!!!!

2 Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

Philippians 1:23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;


when I die2

So…Someone loves you a lot!


God's love

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

We all know this very well known and memorized scripture.  But there is a two letter word in it that means so much to me and that is the word…”SO”.  The script could have read that God loved the world.   But there is so much behind that simple word…”So”

I want to talk about the love of God briefly.   This is a topic that I could write for days about but I feel led to share this one point today.


God's love 3


I love God so much and when I pray I cry so a lot and very hard as I tell Him that I love Him.  It’s because I can’t keep up with that amount of God’s love for me.  I feel His love but it’s too powerful for me.  His love for me makes me hungry for His love.  My love for Him is unquenchable.  I’m always panting after Him. In my human form I can’t take in all His love for me.   One day I won’t have to hunger after His love because I will at last be fulfilled with His unfathomable eternal love for me.

god's love 4

Right now we try to get love from our spouses, family and friends and they can only give us but so much. We should not expect for our loved ones to always be able to fulfill our need to be loved.    Only the Lord can give us all we need and even in that… we cannot receive in our heart and mind all the love God has for us…that’s why we hunger for more of God.

My little brother and my mom are with Jesus and I know that at this very moment they are receiving the full power of the love of God.  Thank you Jesus!

So in John 3:16 where it says…for God “SO” loved the world…we need to really understand what is behind that little but powerful word …”SO”.

God's love 1

I want to say to someone reading this today that….God loves you!!!  Forget about trying to understand all the negative things that have happened to you in your life.  If you can hang in there…your eternal happy life will far outweighs anything you have gone through.  God loves you so much and has your best interest at heart.  Just know that He loves you and never doubt that even until your last breath of life!


God's love 2


Thinking about my God

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Thinking about God best


Last week I was thinking about God creating me.  God desired to create human beings.  When He thought about creating us He knew that we would eventually be evil because He knew if He gave us free will we would act out. Evil was not a mistake and it’s real.   So God already knew He would have to have a plan in place  that would put us right with Him.  Jesus wasn’t an… uh oh!…they need a savior or here I come to save the day kinda thing.  Jesus was their plan all along.

So this is what really touched my heart.  That God Himself would save us.  Jesus and the Father are one….the Holy Spirit is God and they have been with this created world from the beginning.  And they had a plan to…make us and save us!!!!

Genesis 1:1 Says… In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

John 3:16 Says…For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

So God created a world that He SO LOVED!  I’m so loved….you’re so loved!

Then God Himself fixed the divide that separated humans from Himself.  One member of the trinity would sacrifice Himself and one member of the trinity would be present on earth to inhabit and help people.  This was all done why?   Because  God so loved  the world He created.

We are different from all of God’s other created beings because we were made in His image and we are His children.  We are different because we have …..Suffered!  The rewards will be great for us as stated in the book of Revelation Chapter 2.

Our purpose is not to make it big here on earth… but to make it big there….in Heaven with God our Father.  It’s all about Him.  Our whole lives are about our relationship with God.  I belong to….God!  He loves me so!   He even put the Holy Spirit in my human body.  He had a plan to take care of me.  I feel like I need to let go of my attachment to this world. One day it will let go of me and I’ll be in with God…but right now…I’m just feeling…  that I want to focus on my God so much more.

I’m trying hard to walk with God all day every day.  I’m going to hold on to His grace for dear life until that grace carries me right up to God’s loving arms.


Thinking about God last

God’s holiness reveals deeper truth to me


Because of God's holiness...His Son did this for you and me!

Because of God’s holiness…His Son did this for you and me!

For weeks now I’ve been learning about the holiness of God.  I feel this is one of the most important attributes of God because it’s His nature….it’s who He is and it’s the reason for the necessity of the cross of Jesus Christ.  In studying about this something strange has happened to me.  The more I read and meditated on the holiness of God…the more I saw the ugliness of my nature and I was truly sickened by this revelation.

As God’s purity became clearer to me and I saw myself in the light of His holiness…..I cried!  I was so upset about it that my husband gave me a bible lesson on Romans 6.  He read the whole chapter to me and followed up with a bible lesson.  He also gave me this scripture…..Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, I thank God for my godly husband!  These scriptures straightened me right up!

I am still in awe of the holiness of God.  I am also in awe of His love for us.  Our whole lives are about Him.  We who are Christians belong to God!  A very high price was paid for our souls. 

These human bodies that we have are made up of mostly water and oxygen and turns into dust when we die. They are just shells that our spiritman lives in while we are here on earth.  We are spiritual beings made in God’s image and our whole purpose is for God alone.  To bring Him praise and to glorify Him!  We are to study Gods word and live a holy life and after we live our lives… He will reward us with things to great for us to take it all in now.  We will have an indescribable life forever with Him.

This whole thing we call life has everything to do with God’s desire to create us and His ability to give us an everlasting perfect life in light of His holiness!

When I look at myself now….I see God in me….I see His creation….I see an imperfect person….I see that I was Gods enemy…I see His grace and mercy for me….I see the cross….I see Jesus sacrifice and forgiveness…I see His love for me…I see hope and I see eternity.

I want to live a holy life and I can because of Jesus Christ and the power and indwelling of the Holy Spirit.   I can be what my Father God wants me to be…and that is to be like my brother Jesus.

Gods love holiness middle

I want to live for my God even more right now after studying about His holiness.  I understand why I need to.  I know I won’t be able to be perfect for Him right now…but I will keep working on it anyway. In my heart I know what I want to be in Christ but God’s holiness showed me my own flesh. Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.  This scripture is my prayer.

I REALLY didn’t like what I saw…my flesh…but…I know I need to keep my eyes on the Lord for guidance.  I will seek after Him all day every day stay close.  I need to study His word and pray without ceasing.  I need to know that Jesus will keep me from stumbling/sinning and He will present me faultless before my God.   I need to listen to the Holy Spirit when He shows me the error of my ways in the light of God’s word.  I need to ask for forgiveness when I sin (repent).   I need to obey Him, love Him and others.  I can do this…my heart wants to!

You know after studying about God’s holiness I got really scared of God for a few days.  I was like…”God don’t play!”  That’s what I feel in my spirit…He doesn’t play games and He is nothing to play around with.  We should uphold Him with the utmost respect and honor.  When one of my daughters was a little girl, she told me “mommy…I’m scared of you”.  I told her that I was scared of God and that’s a good thing.  By being scared…I mean a healthy fear/respect for the authority of God.

I take God’s holiness very seriously and I will stand up for His holy name even more than I ever did before.  One big lesson I’ve learned about His holiness is that it reveals a new level of love that I didn’t realize before…but in light of studying His holiness…it’s revealed more of His love for me.  I feel it through His holiness.  I feel more of why Jesus went to the cross and what was His motive…which was His love for us and obeying His Father. 

I feel very special today.  I feel that God went out of His way just for me (and you)!  In the light of God’s holiness…it has added a new depth to my faith and in my walk with the Lord.

Message for today:  In the light of the Holiness of God His love for His creations shines through!  God loves you and me so very much!!!!!

Gods love holiness last

Message from God day 4




message from God



My Children…Love one another.  I have loved you so and everything that I have done for my creations has been from my love for all of you.  I have shared my love with you through my only Son and the Holy Spirit.  I have poured my love out all over you.  My love for you is perfect!  I am love…it’s who I am.  My love for you is very powerful.   You are a part of me and I you.  I need you to love my creations like I love you.

Love is not only a feeling…but it’s me and it’s you.  When you love one another…you are showing me that you understand how much I love you by obeying this command.  I want you to see love in the light of who I am.  If you know me… you know love. Loving someone is a whole body human experience.  Yes you can love with your heart dear children…but love with all of you and all that I am in you and your love will have a profound effect on others.  Your love will reflect our light. (Father, Son, Holy Spirit)  Your love will show others the way to us.

My child… love is not hard to understand or feel because when you look at my portfolio of love you will see how much love is me and everything that pertains to me is out of this love.  So when you pray to me and walk with me… you will know more and more what this love is that I talk about and have let you experience through my only Son Jesus…you will come to grow deeper in love with me and that will bring you into a deeper desire to manifest that love in your life.

Everything you are is because of my love for you.  Some of my children haven’t experienced this tremendous amount of love that I have for them.  This can be because they don’t know enough about me or that they are just not seeking me.    They need a breakthrough.  What a breakthrough it will be when all my love that you can hold in your human body fills you up. The overflow of this love will chase out any fear and you will know and be sure of my love for you in your heart and mind.

Love one another… as this will please me so and you will be blessed.  The love that my Son Jesus has for you was so evident from His act of sacrificing Himself for you.  Not only did He had to endure  beatings and being mocked  and tortured for you, but His separation from my presence was almost more that He could bear.  He did this because I asked Him to and He did this because He too loves you so.

Show this world whose child you are.  Love your neighbor.  Your Father in Heaven

1 John 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

John 3:16″For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Valentine’s Prayer…God is Love


1 John 4:8  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Today is Valentine’s Day and the name Valentine goes back to 269AD when two Christians named  Valentine from Terni and Rome were martyred.   February 14th was the day chosen to honor them.    But it wasn’t until the 14th century when a few poets from England wrote about love and a bird’s time for finding a mate in England… that is when this holiday really began to take shape.

Whatever the true reason is for this holiday celebration…I believe it’s a great one because the greatest fact about the nature of God our Father is that……GOD IS LOVE!  John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

So… today as we think of those we love in a special way…let’s consider the beginning of love…”GOD“.

Dearest heavenly Father,

I want to thank you for the precious gift of love that you have given to the world and to me.  Thank you for blessing me with this love and the strength that I get from you every single day.  Without your love for me I can’t be….I can’t function….I can’t even breathe…because I NEED your love to sustain me.  It’s like food and medicine for my soul Lord.

 Please continue to let me feel your comforting love in my life and Lord I give myself over to you to perfect in me this gift of love…that I may be able to express it and share it with others.  Lord…I have not always been good at this…forgive me.  Father God…some people are harder to love than others…but I want to be like your Son Jesus…so please continue the work you are doing in my life so that my heart will be like yours. In Jesus name I pray.

 God I love you so much and Father……… Happy Valentine’s day!  From me your child. XOXO

1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.

Message for today: Love! Love! Love! Love! Love! Love!

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