2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

As many of you may or may not know… I suffer with a chronic illness and this summer I asked for prayer form everyone when I went to a specialist who could possibly diagnose me.  Well he did diagnose me with a rare disorder called Periodic Paralysis.  I get episodes of extreme weakness and many times it feels like I’m having a stroke because my right side gets very weak.  I have difficulty breathing and heart irregularities.  When these attacks stop…I’m left with weakness, speech and memory problems that can last from a few hours to days.

I get these every morning around 11am but most days they are very mild and if I get the big debilitating episodes they can last on and off for a week or more.  Any physical activity brings these on as well as many other things can trigger these off so I never know how my next hour or day is going to be.  I’ve had symptoms of this illness as long as I can remember and over the years it has manifested in different ways.

The specialist I went to see gave me medication for it this summer and over these months I’ve tried different ones because the medications made me very sick.  So recently I’ve tried to control the symptoms with dietary changes and It’s not going to well and right now I’m even weaker.

This week I’ve come to realize that this is my life.  After spending most of my life trying to find out what I have… just to find out that it’s something that I  will have to deal with for the long haul …was a lot to take in….but…I tell you….the peace of God has flooded my soul and today I have peace.  Why?  Because my God has never left me in all of this and never will.  Why?  Because nothing will EVER separate me from His love and care.  Why? Because I know I can cast all my care on Him because He cares for me. Why? Because He is the good shepherd and He takes care of me.

So I tell you today…don’t feel sorry for me… because it is so well with my soul.  I know I belong to God….I know He is there for me….I know that EVERY morning God has promised me new mercies and I look for it and I get it.  It is well with my soul because… my eyes are fixed on the Lord.  Jesus name is on my lips and in my heart.  I know that when I am weak my God is strong in me.  I praise God in my storms and He surrounds me with His presence.  I have survived for 59 years with this and I will endure the rest of my life… safe in my Father’s arms.

When you have Jesus Christ in your life….you have everything you need for your life and as long as you have your eyes on Him…as long as you trust Him…you will be good.  But the great part about Jesus is that even if you are so weak and tired and you may even doubt a little….HE WILL NEVER LET YOU GO!!!  That’s how powerful His love is for us.

When my kids were little…I was like a mother grizzly bear.  If anyone tried to harm my kids I stood up on my hind legs and protected my 6 kids.  If they were sick…I was all over that thing in deed and prayer.  I used everything in my power to make sure my kids had everything they needed to make it.  But…If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!(Mathew 7:11)  Need I say more?

I don’t know what my future holds…but I know who holds my future and I PUT MYSELF IN HIS HANDS!

I leave you with these scriptures:

2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Isaiah 49:29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Psalms 76:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalms 23:4 Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. (NLT)

Psalms 54:4 Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.

Psalms 18:2  The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Message for today: No matter what happens to my body…it has nothing to do with my soul and my relationship with the Lord. My trust is in the Lord and it is truly well with my soul!!!!

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