Seeing my own inadequacies….my own insufficiency, deficiency, deficits, failures, poverty, inability to bring about success or healing in my life…. has made me see clearly the greatness and majesty of God and it has revealed His holiness and perfection to me. I other words….I need God in and through my life 24/7!!!!!
I have been ill recently in a way that has caused me to seek God in a different way. If you get sick suddenly….you can call out to God and He heals you. When you have chronic illness ….and it last a very long time….and you get one illness that comes on top of others…. it causes you to feel like you are under a pile of bricks and your hand is reaching out from under the rubble waiting for God to rescue you. Sometimes you can stay under that rubble for a long time.
As you feel the weight of the bricks or trials that you know you can’t overcome by yourself…you can become very tired and feel weak.
I heard a story on the news this morning that a woman was trapped in her wrecked car down the side of the road for 6 days. She was without water and had one packet of dried oatmeal. Her feet were crushed. She was asked did she think she was going to die and to the surprise of the reporter she said no. She said everyday she thought she would be rescued and was very hopeful.
That really shocked me this morning that in the face of the worst situation that one must be hopeful!! This attitude or disposition can keep you alive way past your seemingly life threatening situation.
Because of Jesus…I know that I have hope. Not only hope for an eternal life with God but also hope for His help and presence in my life and through every situation every day.
I’ve learned… in suffering with a chronic illness that you cannot lose your will to live. This goes for anyone facing a difficult situation. It takes courage to deal with the difficulties of this life. Some people are natural born fighters and some people can’t handle much. When you are a Christian….God will help anyone who is weak to be strong in Him. Jesus said”Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Mathew 11:28-30.
I’ve been tested long and hard over the years and the battle is still raging. But I have my eye on the prize which for me one day is being in the presence of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost and having God Himself wipe all my tears away. I look forward to my new glorified body that will never again contain any sickness. I look forward to all the love I ever wanted that I will experience in a supernatural way. I look forward to dancing on streets of gold in which I will be crying out my praises to God for all that He has brought me from and praising Jesus Christ for His sacrifice that made it all possible.
My goal now is to praise God, endure the trials, be obedient, and share the gospel. My job now today is to make sure I keep very hopeful like the woman in the car wreck….expecting that help/answered prayer will arrive at any moment. I thank God so much for all the grace, strength and mercy He has blessed me with thus far and I look forward to today’s blessings.
Psalms 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
Psalms 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
We can’t always be on the mountain top! I thank God for the Valley season so I can grow spiritually and have a future testimony to bring God glory!
God Speaks I Listen 
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