It breaks my heart that this is one of my most popular blogs. This morning when I woke up I saw there were many people overnight that Googled…I want to kill myself God…and found their way to my blog.

Many people are becoming suicidal these days at an alarming rate. I pray for the sad hearts today. You never know that it could be someone in your family or a co-worker who is suffering. Many people who write me are suicidal Christians.

There was a time when I would have never shared this story about myself. But if it can help someone…… Lord have mercy…please.

This is my blog list of some of the searches that people did to find my blog today…so sad….


  • please god kill myself please
  • im idiot lord
  • spoke and i liisten i belong in bible
  • i don’t want to kill myself god
  • what is the meaning of’it will be well with you’.
  • why am i so stupid god

God Speaks I Listen

I am going to kill myself blog

Yup!…that’s what I use to think every day for many years from about 1962-1982!!  Thank God I’m still here and here’s my story:

I am going to share something today that the Lord told me yesterday to share with you.  It’s very very personal and I have not told this publicly in detail like this before.  It’s very hard for me to relive this and share this story.    I’m sure the Lord has His purpose for this and I pray that it will be a blessing to someone who needs to hear it.

For  the first 32 years of my life (I’m 60 years old now) I felt very unhappy and sad inside.  By the time I was 12 years old… all I thought about was that I was a mistake to have been born.   I hurt inside and I didn’t want to be here on this earth anymore.  My…

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