God Speaks I Listen

God gave all human beings a free will. The Holy Spirit who is God and the most powerful being in the universe cannot break into your free will and mind and make you do what’s right. He can influence you but He can’t make you do what you don’t want to do. This is what He the Holy Spirit does:

John 16:8 When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment:

This free will is very powerful in us. We can choose to do right or we can choose to do wrong. We can follow Jesus or we can make a decision to never follow Jesus. We have a choice to sin or not to sin.

I don’t like it when I use my free will choices and it hurts myself. When I’m doing right I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit on me and in me. When I’m doing things that I have no business doing, it wrecks my relationship with God until the Holy Spirit taps me on the shoulder to let me know I messed up. Then I ask Jesus for forgiveness.

I want to do what I want to do, it’s my human nature. Like when I want to eat too much of something or spend money on something I know I can’t afford. I stick my head in the sand hoping to block out the Holy Spirit trying from to correct me. Then I go ahead and do what I want to do. I’m just being real here folks. Free will is not always good. God has given this to us because He doesn’t want to control us like puppets.

Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
Free will is difficult at times to manage. You can make really good decisions with it and then not so good decisions with it. I would like to address the not so good part:

Dear Free will…I’m concerned about who you have become. I’m concerned about your rejection of holiness! I’m concerned about how you don’t want to pay God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit any mind! I‘m concerned about how your blind to truth sometimes. Free will… you were created with such good intentions. You have the ability to make choices and to see you using your gift of choice to cut Jesus out of your life pains me greatly.
Some of you freewillers have never accepted Jesus as your Savior in the first place. You say “I don’t need God at all.” You say “there is no hell” also”. I pray for you guys all the time and I know that the Holy Spirit is trying to contact you all! I know He is trying to get into your heart and mind so you can know truth. But oh freewill is hanging around to say “let me alone and leave me to myself!” Freewillers also say “get away from me, I don’t believe in all that nonsense.” Some other freewillers say “I don’t have time for Jesus right now…maybe later”.

 
God gave you a choice for you to refuse to believe in Him. You don’t have to have Jesus in your life! You can believe in anything you want to. The reason for my concern is simply that I care what happens to your soul. A soul is who you are as a person. You might say “well who do you think you are to try to get me to believe all this stuff?” I want to tell you these amazing things. God saved my life from suicide attempts!!!!! God saved the life of 4 of my kids when they were in intensive care. All of the blessings in my life has been amazing so why would I not want other people to have these blessings too?

I care about the freewillers and most of all God loves you all so much. You only get one shot at eternal life with God because the minute you die…that’s it!!!!!!!!! You will know whether you were right or wrong immediately. Freewillers please reconsider things and just look into the historical evidence of the Jesus story. Please reevaluate your decision to not accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. You have nothing to lose! You can still say no because you have your…free will.

Hebrews 9:27 Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,
God gave us all a free will. What WILL you do with your choices? If you are already a Christian, will you obey the bible and make good choices for yourself? If you are not a Christian, will you say no or yes today? Your choice!

“I’m feeling a great sense of urgency in my spirit about things right now. I feel things are very serious.  I feel God has spoken to us in His word and unusual things are happening intensely and the church needs to already be ready. The church… meaning you and me who say we’re Christians should be very active in God’s service. The Holy Spirit of God is speaking and those who have spiritual ears I pray can hear what “The Spirit of God” is saying. Lives depend on our obedience and God is watching to see who are truly His worshipers and truly His followers. This is so serious right now.

I just can’t explain it like I feel it. It’s beyond any words. It’s what I know in my heart and mind. My spirit man is telling me don’t play around with this, but to dig in and press forward because this is it! The very last days!!! All hell has broke loose and satan has found major strongholds over weak minded and immoral people. He’s eating people up like pac-man! Gobbling up peoples souls! If it ain’t well with your soul…you betta’ WATCHOUT!”

I said to myself…well satan has always been bad so what’s the difference?  The answer is that people have lost their morals and have opened up their souls to allow satan to touch their minds with massive impurity.  Many are losing touch with reality and this is driving many to insanity.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

This is it people! The very last days! All that’s been going on in this world these days has been predicted in the bible. I don’t want to be a Debbie downer here but things are bad and they will get worse. Lately I’ve been seeing some news reports about people doing some of the most heinous and evil acts. I can’t even describe not one of them here because they are just that bad. If a person does not have any Jesus in them then they are full game for the devil to take them completely over.

What’s more shocking is a report by Pastor Chris Sonksen who did a story for Fox News: “Only 39 percent of active believers consider the Bible as the literal word of God. Less than 20 percent of professing believers follow the biblical principle of giving. Only 5 percent have shared their faith with a non-believer. More than half of all church members attend church once a month or less.”

I just wanted to cry when I read these statistics! I’ve been wondering why Christians have been silent when many of our laws have been changed concerning issue’s that go against Gods laws.
To put it very simply…this country needs Jesus…the world needs Jesus. But not only to know about Him, not only to go to a church…but to know Him intimately!!!! There is a big difference in knowing God in a deep and personal way than casual Christianity! Knowing Jesus intimately gives one, boldness, strength, obedience, love and so much more. If our spiritual lights were shining brightly people could see Jesus and be led to follow Him.
Since the bible predicts that things will get worse… should we just throw up our hands and say …”Oh Well?” That’s the way things are these days! There are still people today who will accept Jesus as their Savior. We need to repent if we have been the 95% of people who don’t share their faith with others. We need to work on being intimately involved with Jesus Christ. We need to obey the word of God…the bible. We need to love our neighbor and lastly we need to love God like crazy!
This is it people…the end times. Matthew 3:2 and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” Believe in Jesus…serve Jesus…obey Jesus…build His Kingdom. This is what God wants us to do! Fear not! Put your hope in God!
Many people are committing suicide these days. Yes… mental illness is real but so is spiritual warfare. The devil wants you to do him a favor and kill yourself. He’s slick and subtle! This is an old trick that he is now convincing masses of people to do all day… every single day of the year. The devil is truly preying on people who are not in a relationship with Jesus. People need us to shine a light so they can find Jesus Christ.
This is it people. This is real. Let’s not play around in these evil and very dangerous times. Let’s be alert at all times and take our commitment to Jesus Christ very very very seriously! This is real people! This is real!

What does it feel like to be 12 years old and want to die?

I know about this because it happened to me. The other day I read about an 10 year old boy who committed suicide. In his state of Ohio in 2017 one hundred and eleven people younger than 18 had killed themselves. I tried to think back and remember what I was feeling at that time. Bullying, parent problems and poor grades were the main reasons for my sadness. I can see now that there was some kid depression there also. I say kid depression because I think it presents different in kids than adults.
There was a hole in my heart were my soul, heart and life was leaking out of me. I felt that I was ALL ALONE with no one to talk to and no one who cared. As a child you don’t have the skills and knowledge in how to help yourself.
The night I tried to kill myself at 12 I was crying really hard. My heart was hurting and I was so sad. I was alone in my room. I keep hearing in my mind that I was a mistake to be alive and NOBODY loved me. I wanted the heart pain to stop. So I took and bunch of my prescription allergy pills. After I took a bunch of them I was scared and crying so I went downstairs to my parent’s room. I went back to my room and cried. I cried myself to sleep. The next morning when I woke up I was so angry that I was still alive.
How did I know about taking my own life at 12 years old? I never had any experience with it at all. Never knew anyone who had committed suicide but yet I knew I wanted to do that to myself. Other people would not have known how I was feeling deep inside. There were no obvious clues to my teachers, my neighbors or church. I only knew I needed an outlet for my pain and grief. The grief was from rejection. Rejection was very overwhelming to me. It hurt sooo bad. I internalized it.

Not only does bullying cause internal pain to the victim but it also causes fear and terror to torment them as well. It’s so destructive to a child or an adult. I have to add adult because as an adult I’m still getting bullied. And what also happens is that all the bullying that was ever done to me gets clumped together sometimes in my mind and I have to then deal with it all over again. As an adult I know what I have to do to shake the pain it causes, but as a kid you don’t have those skills so the pain just stays in your heart.
People are shocked and extremely pained when a child commits suicide. So the question is what can be done? I think some kids may cry out for help but most don’t so people around them have to look for clues. Even then it could be extremely hard to tell. Nobody really know what someone is feeling in their heart. There are parents who are tuned in with their kids and other parent just might not be able to discern their kid’s inner feelings. No one should feel guilty about other another person’s deep internal sorrow because people can really hide emotions.

Recently some kids who are hurting want to hurt others. (School shootings) This is a disturbing trend. I feel much of it is bought on by hurt feelings and depression. They internalize it like I did. They want to be violent with their pain and strike out at others so they justify their acts with their inner pain. So we need to figure out a way to reach children who are hurting emotionally.

As for me….I’m so glad that I wasn’t successful. I have a wonderful husband, 6 great children and one granddaughter. God had plans for my life. I’ve shared my story of my road back from suicide and depression with sooo many people. Hopefully my story can save another’s life.  Psalms 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/bd74a78e-598e-391b-a3f7-2beab196007d/ss_10-year-old%27s-suicide.html

 
After I finished writing this blog a few days ago the fashion designer Kate Spade committed suicide. Depression can be a killer disorder. Mental illness is a horrible and deadly disease. Let’s all pray for those who are afflicted with mental illness.

When we reflect on Resurrection day or celebrate communion we think of God sending His only Son to die on the cross…but the Holy Spirit the third person of the trinity was present throughout Jesus time on earth and He was especially at the crucifixion. 
The power of the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, the holy Spirit was there when Jesus was baptized, the Holy spirit led Jesus into the wilderness, Jesus was anointed by the Holy Spirit to do miracles sign and wonders, the work of Christ on the cross was through the eternal Spirit. The Holy Spirit was involved in Jesus earthly life from beginning to the end. If Jesus needed the Holy Spirit throughout His life…so do we.
All 3 persons of God are so unique in our lives but they are uniquely one. Our God is like no other!! Boy am I glad I’m His child!!! I have an incredible Father!!!

Hebrew 9:14 How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!

The chief priests and the elders were very busy accusing Jesus of being the king of the Jews. They bought Jesus to Governor Pilate and they tried to make him deal with the “Jesus issue”. After the people voted to save Barabbas and kill Jesus Pilate said this: Matthew 27:22 Pilate saith unto them, What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ? The people answered Pilate: They all say unto him, Let him be crucified.
What will you do will Jesus?
That’s a deep question that we all need to ask ourselves. What should we do with Jesus Christ? Are we going to keep Him in our bible on a shelf or are we going to promote Jesus?
Do we put Jesus away most days and take Him out on Sundays and holidays?
What shall I do with Jesus which is called Christ?
I will worship Him!
I will thank Him.
I will love Him.
I will serve Him.
I will Obey Him.
I will talk to Him.
I will celebrate Him.
I will never forget Him… (And His sacrifice for me.)
I will wait for Him to return.

Pilate dissed Jesus! Pilate threw Jesus under the bus!  Pilate washed His hands of Jesus! 

What should you do with Jesus? Promote Him!

I’m going to promote Jesus and spread the good news of the gospel to others for the rest of my life. People need Him so bad!!!